Take Off Your Graveclothes!

It's 3:00 in the morning and I'm at it again.
Confused
Scared
Alone
"My God!" I cry out. "When will this stop hurting!"
I'm frustrated but I'm more hurt than anything else.
He said He would never leave me.
Where is He now?
He said things would get better.
They're getting worse.
He promised to renew my mind.
My thoughts are spiraling out of control.
"What is wrong with me?" I whisper into the dark of the bathroom, careful not to talk too loud.
I don't want my cries to wake anybody up.
This is me at 16 years old.
This is me after I've finally decided to take a step of faith and lean on God.
I've made all the moves He's wanted me to make.
I've let go of the people He wanted me to let go of.
And He's promised me that He has delivered me from my past, that I am now free.
So why do I feel so bad?????

It took me awhile and many nights like this before God revealed to me what my problem was. I always thought that I was still waiting to be set free but I was wrong. I had already been saved and given a new life, so why did everything in my life feel so dead?

I was still wearing my graveclothes.

I believe we all make this mistake. God delivers us out of something, yet the change isn't evident in our lives. That's because we still walk around in our graveclothes.

If you're familiar with the story of Lazarus in the Bible this might be a little easier to understand. But if you don't, don't worry, I'll give you a VERY simplified version.

Jesus had a very close friend named Lazarus, whom He loved very much. Well, Lazarus ended up getting seriously sick and died. His sisters called on Jesus to come and heal him before he died but the Lord waited another two days before he decided to go to Lazarus. By the time he got to his home, Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Everyone was sad and crying but Jesus, in true God fashion, came and showed out. He called Lazarus forth out of the tomb, bringing him back to life. The Bible goes on to then state: And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes; and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go (John 11:44).

You see, before God can really do something in your life, you have to be loosed of your graveclothes. Can you imagine if Lazarus had stayed bound? How would he have been able to function? He wouldn't be able to see, or eat. Even his sense of touch and sound would have been distorted.

The same applies for us. When God brings us up out of a situation, we have to be willing to leave the graveclothes behind. They keep us bound and make it harder for us to walk with God, and to hear what He has to say to us. When you're still wearing your graveclothes, the stench of death is still on you. So even though you have been made alive again and set free, you still look like death, still talk like death, you even still move and smell like death.

Alot of people have this problem. They're saved but you would never be able to tell by the way they live. They still do all the things sinners do. Yes, they have been given a new life through Christ but they haven't taken the time to peel off those old layers of sin.

So what exactly are graveclothes? Graveclothes can be anything. Graveclothes can be painful memories, recurring sins ... anything.

I had alot of graveclothes. My ex had just left me after almost two years so I wore a combination of guilt, hurt, bitterness, rejection. I also had alot of other problems so at times I was wearing deceit, dishonesty, low self esteem, and doubt. No wonder God couldn't do anything in my life. He doesn't play with dead things and, although I was saved, I was still a walking corpse.

If you're still wearing your graveclothes I urge you to talk to God. Pray and read your Bible. (If you don't have one, Go GET ONE! TRUST ME YOU NEED IT!!!!!) Let God come in and work on you. Don't try to change yourself. You are the problem ... how can you possibly be the solution?? Only God's compassion can change you and only His Spirit can renew your mind. You have to sit back and let Him work. Trust me I know it hurts and you might be saying, "When, Jasmine? When will it stop hurting?" Unfortunately I can't answer that for you but there is One that knows the answer. So what are you still listening to me for? Go talk to Him!!! He's waiting!
~Jasmine